Posts
I know you get a bad rap (wrap vs. rap) on the West Coast, but that's their problem. I'd like to personally thank you for bringing Canadian air deep in the heart of the South, where my happy little butt can now make it to the mailbox without crack sweat. I mean, seriously, thanks.
Also, I'm a big fan of the rain we don't normally see in July.
My only complaint isn't really a complaint at all: I'm just a weather dork (yes, I'm about 15 flavors of dork), and a birdie/meteorologist told me that your wind shear will break up hurricane activity in the Gulf. Hrmph. I'll still enjoy tracking them here. (Yup, BIG RED, FLASHING DORK SIGN)
Muchos Thank-os (yup, that's Spanish)
(Wait, Gracias is "thanks"... so..)
Gracias,
The Mom Job
Dear Conner,
Pants kid, PANTS. Lord love a duck, I'm REALLY TIRED OF SEEING YOUR JUNK. Put on the PANTS.
With Pants,
Mommy
Dear Margarita Glass,
I'm sorry I haven't used you in so long. I really do have a good excuse. It's not you, it's me. Swomise.
Although the medicine helps with the esophageal spasms, it can't handle Mr. Cuervo and his little buddies yet. And vodka-only margaritas are just so Freshman Year at a crappy bar "of legal drinking age" years at crappy bars.
However, knocking me over my head while I fetched a cup for Conner's orange juice this morning was a bit extreme. I mean, yes, it has been that long, but you didn't have to go to such extremes. Are you like that girl who stalks a guy after he makes out with you ONCE and then doesn't remember your name? Because no one likes that girl. Trust me.
I'll get around to using you later. Well, not you now... you are broken and in the trash. But, I'll use your friends.
And then, I might not call them the next day. Wait...
There's a life's lesson in there for some of you who choose to read between the lines.
My Deepest Sympathy's To Your Mexican Familia,
Very Sober Amanda
Dear Body,
Your little game last week? Not cool dude. Well, girl. But for reals - NOT COOL. You do that again and you go on eBay. Trust me, I know all about putting uteruses (uteri??, eh?) and ovaries and thyroids on Teh Internets. Don't try me.
Just NOT. COOL.
Me (us?)
Dear Congress and Senate,
That's just one GIGANTIC mistake. Don't go there.
Regards,
The Tax Payer ('s wife)
