The Best Excuse Ever To Use That Emergency Broadcast System Thing That Always Interrupts My Precious TV Time

I have been combing the shelves at my local Publix for Conner's daily breakfast ritual items, Eggo minis, for over 2 weeks now. Disappointed that I could not offer my 4-year-old his most precious eggo fix, I only recently (as in 2 days ago) offered a "temporary" (or so I thought) replacement - Publix brand french toast sticks.

It was this afternoon I received a text message from my mom (hi mom):
"Just wondering what you are doing with an eggo shortage..."

... and I was all "um wtf?"

So I replied with something similar to the above and then proceeded to google "eggo shortage".
Dudes.
I found this (titled "Eggo Waffle Shortage Shakes The Nation") (INDEED IT DOES) and this and then about 531 others.
In one article is states that one plant has been SHUT DOWN INDEFIENTLY DUE TO REPAIRS. because that makes sense. Umno. So I wikipedia'd that.
Guys they are not kidding.


A cautionary text conversation:
Me: OMG. There is ACTUALLY an eggo shortage. No wonder I couldn't find Conner's waffles!
Michael: Why!
Me: Google eggo shortage
Michael: Sorry, that just sounds crazy.
Michael: Indefinitely due to repairs?
Me: I. KNOW.

It is not crazy. It is absolute bat crap insane. No quick-fix breakfast treats? Do they expect me to start making them from scratch!?! Maybe I'll just sell my house, buy some farm land, and start raising my own chickens WHILE I AM AT IT.

Stay calm people, production of these tasty frozen breakfast savers (and savers of my WHOLE FREAKING LIFE) will be back to normal in..... wait.... omg... does that say? No. Surely... *rereads*... O Sweet Baby Jesus - in. the.summer.of. 20-freaking-10.

Yeah.

Wait. Let's all calm down. I just checked my freezer and I have exactly 14 Eggo Waffles in Homestyle (non-mini and therefor of no value to ConnerWhoIsSoPickyHeEvenHasSIZERequirementsForHisFood). I start the bidding at 21984798352059130487598230ur98 23750923478124809235 dollars.