Reasons I'm Glad I Don't Have A Girl

Because I would vomit daily if every single new game or toy we owned was pink.

Might I present my case?

Now bear with me for a minute...


BUT WHY IN THE ACTUAL i(**%%@)p#(&*($@()!@_#*$*&^@ DO YOUR DAUGHTERS NEED PINK BOARD GAMES? I MEAN... WHAT IS THE FREAKING PURPOSE OF MAKING THEM THINK THAT EVERYTHING IS HAPPY AND FLUFFY AND PRETTY AND SPARKLY AND CUSTOMIZED JUST FOR THEM AND ALL THINGS IN THIS WORLD ARE FOR PRINCESSES AND FAIRY TALES?

AND IS THAT LAST ONE... THE OUIJA BOARD FOR YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE PRINCESS WITCH? OR IS IT SO SHE CAN USE HER PRETTY PINK EVIL BOARD TO ENTICE ALL THE COOL KIDS OVER TO HER HOUSE AND THEN SACRIFICE THEM TO WHATEVER IT IS WITCHES WORSHIP?

SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN THIS OR WHY THEY WOULD EVEN PURCHASE ALL PINK EVERYTHING SO I CAN STOP TYPING IN CAPS.

ALSO, PLEASE EXPLAIN THE GENERAL CONCEPT OF MAKING EVERYTHING IN FRICKIN PINK AND DON'T GO ON JUST A OUIJA BOARD RANT. WE'VE ALL HEARD IT.


THANKS.